Unhealthy Marriages
Marriages in society have often been seen as having love and compassion towards the other individual. People marry to show their love for their partner and to show how committed they are toward each other. Marriage is a bond between two people to give each other a ring and to be together for their rest of their lives. Unfortunately marriages have often lead to a divorce; the file for divorcement has been increasing in western cultures. However, some stay in unhealthy relationship and live miserable lives with their partner. Whats problematic is that people neglect this notion for marrying solely for love or sometimes there are too blind to see that their marriages are unhealthy. When marriages are not based on necessity, they based it on reason and leads to unhealthy marriages. Why do women may stay in unhealthy marriages, due to marital dependency, their fear of loneliness, and the acceptance of gender roles. The epidemic of unhealthy marriages is due to marrying for the wrong reasons. This irregular notion of marrying has cause marriages to be in a predicament to marital dependency, the fear of loneliness and their acceptance of gender roles.
In an unhealthy marriage women feel the need to be marital dependent in their relationship. This idea is because women feel the need to have self-security in their relationship and to be dependent on others. In the play streetcar named desire when Blanche is asked whether she wanted to be with Mitch she respond I want to rest; I want to breath quietly again! Yes I want Mitch! Very badly, if it happens, I can leave here and not be anyone problem (Williams 81). Moreover, Blanche hopes that love and marriage will solve all her anxieties and problems with Mitch and her desperate search for dependency with him. She doesnt have any feelings towards Mitch; she just wants to be dependent on someone. Marriage should be based on love and to work things out. It shouldnt be based on marital dependency and be in unhealthy marriage relationship. More often, women are reluctant to leave their unstable marriage because there to dependent on their husband: ``If people were encouraged to expect marriage to be the best and the happiest experience of their lives, what would hold a marriage together if things went for worse rather than for better``( Cootnz 140). When women are in an unhealthy relationship no matter how bad their marriage is they end up staying due to their dependency on their husband. This is one of the reasons why women may stay in unhealthy relationship due to marital dependency.
Marriages should be based on love and security not the fear of loneliness that creates unhealthy marriages. Marriages that are male dominant have cause women to be mistreated in a relationship. No matter how disrespectful the male gets towards his wife, women cant see themselves of getting out of their relationship due to fear of being lonely. In the play Stella told Blanche that He smashed all the light bulbs with the heel of my slipper (Williams 64). Stella still stayed in the relationship even if it means to be mistreated, her fear of loneliness. Unhealthy marriages are based on being mistreated, Stella a typical beaten wife that doesnt see nor could admit to being abused. Evidently, her feelings towards Stanley are too strong and she will never seek to run away from her relationship, the state of fear of being lonely due to unhealthy marriage. Marriage should be based on love and self-security, to love and to respect spouse partner. Marriages will be more secure by getting rid of the cynicism that accompanied mercenary marriages and encouraging couples to place each other first in their affection and loyalties (Cootnz 140). If marriages were based on these principles of getting rid of cynicism and mercenary, women wouldnt have the fear of being lonely. The fear of loneliness has cause women to be mistreated and the relevance of an unhealthy marriage.
Moreover, the acceptance of gender roles can lead to unhealthy marriage. Gender roles are often not a good way to establish marriage due to the dependence on the husband. When women are placed at a housewife position and the husband who brings home the money, the husband will always be in control. Stanley and Stella were in a traditional sex role relationship, when Stanley would bring home the Meat and Stella makes references to Stanley who pays all the bills and never getting her any allowances (Williams 16 18). Evidently this causes unstableness in their marriages due to husband being in control of the finances. Furthermore, if women and men will establish an egalitarian relationship when duties are met and shared equally marriage would work avoiding unhealthy marriages. Too dependent on the husband, Women whose husband are devoted to their families must nevertheless face the specter of abandonment (Hekker 128). As a result, this creates the fear of abandonment due to the husband role and therefore creates unstableness in the marriage. Not only does a gender role lead to unstableness but it causes women to be dependent in their marriage and making men be in control.
Unstable marriages have caused women to stay in their relationship in spite of being mistreated. Marriages are based on love and compassion for the other, not the opposite way around. Their disenchantment to see that their marriage could work has cause them to stay in their relationship. Women may stay in unhealthy marriage due to the fear of loneliness, their dependency on the husband and the acceptance of gender roles. Furthermore, women should get out of their unhealthy relationship and start a new way of life .
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