Feminism in Where are you going, where have you been Essay

Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? by Joyce Carol Oates involves a fifteen year old girl, Connie, living in a patriarchal society. She has to learn how to deal with her mom forcing traditional gender roles on her and being compared to her sister June. Through traumatic events in Connie's childhood, she develops a low self esteem to cause a negative behavior and rebel her parents. The reader can see Connie giving up and walking toward the stranger as negative effect of patriarchal ideology, giving a feminist agenda.

Growing up, Connie was not the loved one. Her mother always comparing Connie to her sister June; Why don't you keep your room clean like your sister? (Oates 406). All this negative energy caused traumatic events in her life and Connie developed a sunken self esteem from being not good enough. This low self esteem comes in play with the boys who visit. One boy, Arnold, calls her honey, tells her she is cute, and that he is her lover. Instead of being criticized for her looks by her mom, You think you're so pretty? (Oates 406), the boys were giving her attention. The attention helped deplete her negative mindset about herself. The attention also caused her to fall into the boys trap of leaving with them.

The family was brought up in a patriarchal society. The women in this society were plain and kept to their orders; they saved money, cleaned the house and cooked. Connie was seen as a bad girl: Connie couldn't do a thing, her mind was all filled with trashy daydreams. (Oates 406). She did not help around the house, she rolled her eyebrows, and chose to fool her mom. Connie did not follow the traditional gender roles, but her father did. He was away at work most of the time during the day and was strong and decisive; When he came home he wanted supper and he read the newspaper at supper and after supper he went to bed. He didn't bother talking much to them. (Oates 407). Her father was the man of the house and did not need to be questioned. He made money for the family and was not taking up the job of the nurturing mother. This also shows how the women carried out the traditional women roles. They were submissive to the male of the house and did not question him. Maybe if the father talked to his daughters more, Connie's situation would not have occurred. She may have been smart enough not to leave with the boys if her father had given her advice.

Her parents followed the patriarchy but did not force these ideas on Connie. She was not insisted to go to the barbecue and was allowed to stay home. While home, two boys show up at Connie's house when she is alone. The boys try to force the cult of true womanhood back on Connie. They believe that they are superior and in control of her and try to take advantage of the, helpless female. Arnold knows what he wants and will not stop until he gets her. We ain't leaving until you come with us, (Oates 415) Arnold Friend says, showing his decisive and strong gender role. Arnold tries to persuade Connie into coming with him. He follows society in believing the women follow what the men say. His words were not angry but only part of an incantation. The incantation was kindly. (Oates 421). Arnold practices his persuasive voice to convince Connie to go to the field with him. He states that he is the best guy out there. Forcing more traditional gender roles on Connie, she begins to worry what she looks like showing the domain of personal beauty.

Connie is only fifteen and Arnold is trying to act eighteen. Being over thirty he tries to blend in and knows all the latest terms that are in style to help convince her. He [was] running through all the expressions hed learned but was no longer sure which one of them was in style, then rushing on to new ones making them up with his eyes closed. The words he states are not quite normal but he is a sexist believing that women are less intelligent to catch on. Also, the boys are listening to the hot music for teenagers. Bobby King is playing on Ellies radio.

If a stranger came around, most would called for help but Connie just starts talking to the strange boys instead of being courageous. She says she is going to call the police and her dad will come but Arnold scares her out of following through on her word. Soon as you touch the phone I don't need to keep my promise and can come inside. You won't want that. (Oates 417). Arnold knows that women are submissive and weak. When given a scare, Connie wants to listen so that no one gets hurt. She starts to follow the traditional gender roles and become weak and submissive. This lack of courageousness is what patriarchy is based on.

By reading, Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? the reader can come to realize that a patriarchal society is not ideal. Men should not be able to persuade women as easily as Arnold did to Connie. He caused her to have a break down; She felt her breath start jerking back and forth in her lungs as if it were something Arnold Friend was stabbing her with again and again with no tenderness. Connie was unconsciously being forced to follow Arnolds words. A society in which men hold all the power allows for women to be oppressed. Only biology determines are sex and males should not be on top for having one x chromosome.