There are many different stereotypes and expectations relating to gender in society today, for example: Women are mainly seen as being the essential care takers of a family; being feminine and more of their role is to be indoors such as cooking and cleaning, while men are seen as the care givers; to be masculine and their role is to be outdoors or in the world making ends meat to take home for the family. While family as a whole is ultimately responsible for providing love, support, structure, comfort and other basic necessities that are required to survive in the world today, we are sometimes forced to conform to what our family and society expects of us, rather than doing what we want. This can cause many different results, in particular forcing the family member to conform to what others want them to do, leaving them not much choice in the matter. This can cause unhappiness and problems in the lives of the family. In Alice Munro's short story "Boys and Girls", we see the evidence of these specific gender roles with the main character of the story from her mother to be feminine and work indoors, although she prefers to be outdoors working with her father. In Alistair Macleod's short story "The Boat" there is similar gender pressures from the boy's mother to continue tradition by working on the family boat, and persists even after losing her daughters to the oppression. The boy in "The Boat, with the help of his father, is eventually able to achieve his own ambitions, however, the girl in "Boys and Girls" is unable to escape the pressure, and is transformed into what her mother, and society, expect of her; she is unable to realize the potential of her old dreams and is caught in the harsh web of expectations relating to gender which reflects on identity and sense of self.
There are many external gender influences in the story that have quite a profound impact in "Boys and Girls"; The title for example: 'Boys' comes before' Girls'. We can also notice in the story that the girl's name is never mentioned, however the little brothers name, Laird, is quite frequently. Noticeably, her mother's and society's expectations are the major contributing factors to the girls conformity; "And then I can use her more in the house" "I just get my back turned and she runs off. It's not like I had a girl in the family at all" (152, literature and the writing process). It is the mother's responsibility to feed and take care of the family, however, she feels her daughter should play a larger role in this duty. The mother needs help and believes it is in her daughters best interest to assist her indoors . It is expected of the girl to be feminine; these characteristics are idealized by the girl's grandmother when she says: "Girls don't slam doors like that. Girls keep their knees together when they sit down" (153). The girl evidently wants to be free, but these stereotypes cannot allow her to realize her true potential, we know this because she says: " It seemed to me that work in the house was endless, dreary, and particularly depressing; work done out of doors, and in my father's service, was ritualistically important "(152). It is impossible for the girl to comprehend why her mother wants her to be indoors when she could be enjoying the wonders of the outdoors doing work that she loves. It is even noted that the girl realizes the pressures of gender roles when she says " It was an odd thing to see my mother down at the barn. She did not often come out of the house unless it was to do something- - hang the wash or dig potatoes in the garden. She looked out of place."
The girls reluctance to conform to the pressures that her mother is placing on her causes tension in the family, especially with her mother. To the girl, the mother is seen as an "enemy", and although is someone who is kind and more talkative compared to her father, she feels as if her mother is someone who cannot be trusted, while throughout this part in the story, her father emerges as her ally. Her father makes her proud by introducing her to a salesman as his "new hired man" (151). However the salesman, who represents society and the outside world, replies: "Could have fooled me, I thought it was only a girl" (151). This reply shows the girl that there are many who believe that a role should be followed even if it does not correspond to her dreams.
Eventually, the pressures of her mother to conform and transform into what it is that she wants the girl to be cause the girl to resign herself to becoming trapped in a role that she doesn't truly understand. There are many steps that lead to her transformation: It first becomes clear on page 155 when the girl says: "When I was working at school, or standing in front of the mirror combing my hair and wondering if I would be pretty when I grew up." We also see that the pressure is taking hold when the girls stories that she tells herself at night begin to change. At the beginning of the story, we see that she has fantasies about adventure, boldness and rescuing people. However, by the end of the story, the stories that she tells herself are now about people rescuing her. She also begins to decorate her room and make it fancy, trying to separate it from her brother Laird's, and the masculine world. The transformation is complete after she frees Flora from being killed by her father and faces the repercussions of her actions; Her father, once her ally, becomes an enemy as he rationalizes her actions by saying "She's only a girl" (157). We see the masculinity of Laird starting to become more prominent when Laird goes with his father to try to catch Flora, and again when he says "Matter of factly": "She's crying" (157). The girl feels "absolved and dismissed . . . for good" (157), and believes she cannot return to life as it was, thus she is not able to cling to those dreams any longer; she is transformed into what she had always wanted to escape.
The boy in "The Boat" has very similar issues to the girl in "Boys and Girls" regarding pressure from his mother. There is predominant evidence of gender roles in this story as well, very similar to the ones in "Boys and Girls". The boy's mother forces tradition on her family, but specifically on her son. She expects her 6 girls to help her around the house, and not to be reading "useless" books, while he is expected to spend his life fishing like his father and his uncles, not by choice, but because it is in his blood: it is tradition. His mother is very unhappy with his father because even though he works as a fisherman, his heart and dreams are elsewhere; mainly in the books that he reads. He shows his daughters, and eventually his son, the wonders of knowledge and that to be brave isn't to do what you are expected to do, but what you truly want to do. The mother cannot compete with this, and refuses to try and understand that the education the father provides is valuable. She even says: "God will see to those who waste their lives reading useless books when they should be about their work" (134). She believes education is useless, while hard work as a fisherman is a much more valuable, and honourable trait. The mother's opinions are constantly voiced to try and pressure her son into staying and fulfilling her dreams.
Unlike the girls reaction in "Boys and Girls", the boy's reaction to conformity are significantly different: he does not question or fight with the pressures that his mother puts on him initially, but rather goes along with it. The girl is unwilling to try any way but her own; however, the boy is willing to quit school to help his father to prepare for the upcoming season on the boat. The boy says:"I will remain with him as long as he lived and we would fish the sea together" (139). The father "Made no protest" only replied, "I hope you will remember what you've said" (139). This pleases his mother as she believes he has chosen a traditional life and it seems that the son has fulfilled his mothers expectations by placing his own dreams aside. He might have never gone back to school had his father not asked him to; his mother pleads with him to return by saying: "I never thought a son of mine would choose useless books over the parents that gave him life" (137). In the end, the boy is eventually able to pursue his own dreams, although it does not come without the difficulty of hurting his mother, unlike the girl in "Boys and Girls". His father takes what his son said very literally and to ensure that his dreams are followed, his father throws himself off of the boat and drowns himself. He is now faced with another tough decision; to please his mother and continue to fish, or to choose his own path. In choosing to escape, the boy exchanges a life of sorrow for a life of relative happiness where he can do as he pleases, although it does not come without the feeling of guilt.
Both the boy and the girl from each story are ultimately responsible for choosing conformity or non-conformity within their families situations and the decision is drastically influenced by their mothers, who promote their own dreams and disregard the goals and dreams of their children's. The girl in "Boys and Girls" is unable to escape because she has no release to free her from her mother or society; if she had someone to support and respect her decisions, she may have been able to remain the way that she was, and had always wanted to be, however, Instead, she is compelled to carry a burden she cannot comprehend, and will lose a most of her character in the end. The boy from "The boat" is able to achieve his goals because his father enables and supports his thoughts and opinions on the way that he would like to live his life although this leaves his mother feeling resentful. Gender plays a significant role on a person and can alter their perceptions of their identity, as well as harm a family as a whole; the only alternative is to avoid forcing conformity on loved ones, and understand that it is essential for them to make their own decisions, and to support them in everything that they do.
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