True Love in What We Talk About When We Talk About Love Essay

In this story what we talk about when we talk about love by Raymond Carver. It is about two married couples drinking gin and having a conversation about love, and the characters make some commons either because of they are drunk, or could be the their true feeling about love. Overall, the author uses this conversation to show that when a relationship first begins, the people involved may have misconceptions about their love, but this love will eventually die off or develop into something much more meaningful. And he also cleverly uses this conversation to show what he thought in his deep heart. When we talk about what love is, people will give all kinds of definition of the love that they think it is. Love is painful, love is happy, love is sad, and love is also selfish, what I know about love is just a feeling that you care about someone so much, and you can do everything for him. The author sets the scene with the two couples sitting around a table drinking gin and having a little conversation. The real story begins when the topic of love comes up. Terri, Mels wife, a skinny girl with a pretty face, dark black eyes, and long brown hair, the cardiologist Mel, Nick and his wife Laura are the four characters. During the conversation, Terri is talking about that Ed loves her so much that even tried to kill her. Terri said, He beat me up one night. He dragged me around the living room by my ankles. He kept saying, 'I love you, I love you, you bitch.' He went on dragging me around the living room. My head kept knocking on things." Terri looked around the table. (Page ), but Mel is disagree that the way Ed treats Terri is love, Laura is saying that because of she doesnt know the situation and she doesnt know that exactly happened, so she doesnt wants to judge that is rather love or not. This shows that the definition of love you have, it might not work on other people. And then Mel is describes his former relationship in which he believed to have found love, but now realizes that the love was lost somewhere along the line. Mel says, "There was a time when I thought I loved my first wife more than life itself. But now I hate her guts. I do." ?Page ?. Mel was once full of love until it was gone. Also, Mel talks about how love can continue even if you lose your first love. Mel says, "And the terrible thing, the terrible thing is, but the good thing too, the saving grace, you might say, is that if something happened to one of us-excuse me for saying this-but if something happened to one of us tomorrow I think the other person would grieve for a while, you know, but then the surviving party would go out and love again, have someone else soon enough." ?Page ?. In this quote, Mel is saying that if any one of them dies, his or her spouse might eventually lose the love they once had, and love another. So that the author is shown us that love can die off and be replaced by anger or hatred, or even love for another. And he also describes an instance in which a couple found the true love. "I mean, it was killing the old fart just because he couldn't look at the fucking woman." ?Page ? Mel tells this story of an old couple that was send to the emergency room after a very bad car accident. The two people were wrapped up in full body casts, and the old man feels so bad because of he can see how his wife going. So that the author is telling the readers that the true love is that you cant be without the one you love.

In the story, the conversation is revolves arround meaning of love, so the symbol of this story definitely is the true love, everybody have their own meaning of true love, so do I, like in the story? Terri and Mel have different meaning of the true love in their heart, at the beginning, the author use the sentence Sunlight filled the kitchen from the big window behind the sink. (Page ). The author use this sentence trying to tell the readers that even tho they are drunk, they still clear in their mind about the subject of love. at second part of the story, Mel told a story about the old couple that had an accident, "I dropped in to see each of them every day, sometimes twice a day if I was up doing other calls anyway. Casts and bandages, head to foot, the both of them. You know, you've seen it in the movies. That's just the way they looked, just like in the movies. Little eye-holes and nose-holes and mouth-holes. And she had to have her legs slung up on top of it. Well, the husband was very depressed for the longest while. Even after he found out that his wife was going to pull through, he was still very depressed. Not about the accident, though. I mean, the accident was one thing, but it wasn't everything. I'd get up to his mouth-hole, you know, and he'd say no, it wasn't the accident exactly but it was because he couldn't see her through his eye-holes. He said that was what was making him feel so bad. Can you imagine? I'm telling you, the man's heart was breaking because he couldn't turn his goddamn head and see his goddamn wife." (Page ). In this sentense the authur just try to use the story of the old couple telling the readers that what is true love meaning to him. The old man is upset not because of the accident or anything else, is just because he cant see his wife, imagin after been married for a long time, the most couple will not love each other that much no more, but this old man still love his wife so much that he will be upset just because he cant see his wife. "Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on. The dashing rocks thy sea-sick weary bark, Here's to my love! - O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick.-Thus with a kiss I die."(Romeo and Juliet act5 scene3). This sentense is from the book romeo and juliet, everyone know that when we talk about love wwe will think about the story of remeo and jueliet, when romeo saw they carry juliets body into the cave, he thought juliet is dead, he loves juliet so much that can even die with her, he thinks that he can not live without her, compare to the story of the old couple, this sentense also shows what the true love is. "I come here with no expectations, only to profess, now I am at the liberty to do so, that my heart is and will always be yours." - Jane Austen (Sense and Sensibility). This is another sentense shows about the true love, she said that my heart is and will always be yours. This definitely shows that she love him so much that can even gives her heart to the one that she loves, there are different kinds of love, but all the loves that we talk about are all the true loves, as long as you think it is. In the story, Ed might did too over, but as long as Terri thinks that he loves her, that is true love to Terri. Through all these examples, it tells that love is to care, to worry, even can gives your heart, your life, love is that thing that dont have a specific definition, because each person have their definition about their love, but they are all true loves.

The story that Terri was talking about, that Ed loves her so much that even tried to kill her. He might loves Terri, but its still too over. During the converstation Terri told that Ed dragged her around the living room by her ankles, and he kept saying he loves Terri, He was dragging Terri around the living room, that makes Terris head kept knocking on things. The author is trying to use Eds story telling the readers that domestic violence is still happens arround us, he gives this examples to set off that what his true love is, he is using Mels answer telling everyone that domestic violence is not love, it needs to be stop. The National Coalition against Domestic Violence reported that 50 percent of all married women will experience some form of violence from their spouse, and that more than one-third are battered repeatedly each year. (West's Encyclopedia of American Law) this shows that 50 percent of all married women experience some form of violence. Domestic violence is not only effect on the victim, it also effect childrens. Every parent wants their kids to grow up healthy in the good invironment, so no matter what, parents will send their kids to a good school, try to let them have the best education, so we need to stop the violence and set a good example to the children. And it will also happends when one trying to control over the another one, such cultures often either openly condone or simply ignore physical violence in the home, creating an environment in which men use their physical strength to control their wives. (paragragh 1). This shows that if the victim ignore it, is will also creating the environment that let domestic violence happends. The authur is using his Terris story to reflect the bad habit in this society, so we needs to stop it. Domestic violence is not the only negative effect that the author mentions, divorce is also one of them.

divorce is one of the themes, all the characters that the author wrote about have been divorced at least once and often remarried. From what I know about the arthur himself, he first married in age eighteen, later divorced, and remarried again before his death from cancer. The characters in the story experienced divorce and remarriage. Mels first wife, who he has had children with, and who he supports financially. Terri was married with Ed, who shot himself, Mel and Terri then married to each other. And then, Mel mentions his ex-wife, he said that he was once truly loved, but now he hates her so much, Mel also mentions that if one dead, the other will forgot really fast and go for another love, this is what causes divorce happens too much. It really is a blight on society, and it will also creates a shadow inside the childrens heart, Divorce strikes a cruel blow at the happiness of childhood, and inflicts an unmerited reproach upon little ones who were called into the world by fathers and mothers whose self-will no longer permits them to live together in peace. (Paragragh 10). This shows how divorce will effect on children, the author use this as an example and telling the readers that how usual this happens around us, Mel also has children, and the arthur is also trying to mention that the nagitive effect on the child from another point of view, it also can bring out the main thing of the whole story, love

Althrough the story, it tells exactly what the real love is, also reflect domestic violence, and tells the readers that it should not be happen again. The arthur also hinted about divorce and remarriage. But all these connect together, love, if divorce is the between, that means there is no love, like Mel and his ex-wife, he has had love with her before, but after they got divorce, Mel starts to hate her. And domestic violence is the same way, love will run really fast if domestic violence happens between too love ones, love is really sensitive, love will go away if you dont try to catch it. The author use this story telling people that love is really in your hand, and everyone deserve it, love someone is need to be from your deep heart, like the old couple that Mel told, they love each other so much, that why the old man feel so bad just because he cant see his wife, that is what we call the true love is, and that is what everyone is looking forward to.