The devastating tragedy of losing one's mother at an early age can drastically affect that person's life. It can impact the way someone thinks, corresponds with others, and the way someone handles them emotionally. In the novel The Secret Life of Bees Lily Owens loses her mother at the early age of four. During Lily's journey she finds comfort and support in the women that she meets. Throughout the novel Lily goes through many changes because of the impact of the motherly figures of the Black Mary, Rosaleen, and the Calendar Sisters.
During Lily's journey the Black Mary helps change Lily's life by providing structure. The ritual of the Calendar Sisters, Rosaleen, and Lily praying before the Black Mary everyday provides Lily with time to focus on her emotions and thoughts. Structure gives Lily a routine with helps her stay organized. "'I reached out and traced Black Mary's heart with my finger'" (Monk Kidd 164). Lily is able to touch the Black Mary on her second attempt. This gives Lily as physical connection to the Black Mary, which she never had with her real mother. The Black Mary acts like a silent mother towards Lily because Lily can connect with the Black Mary physically, but not as much socially. Lily can relate to the Black Mary socially but only through prayer, which is not as strong of a connection as the physical aspect. After Lily learns about the stories that tell the Black Mary's past, she can relate to the Black Mary even more. "'You know, she's really just the figurehead off an old ship, but the people needed comfort and rescue, so when they looked at it, they saw Mary, and so the spirit of Mary took over'" (141). When Lily learned the Black Mary's past it made her think about the world that she was living in. "'I started thinking about the world loaded with disguised Mary's sitting around all over the place and hidden red hearts tucked about that people could rub and touch, only we didn't recognize them'" (142). The Black Mary made Lily think about her life and what could be done to make it better. It made Lily think about the positives and negatives, and that she now had people to relate and connect to.
In addition to the Black Mary, Rosaleen showers Lily with love and support. Rosaleen treats Lily like she is her own daughter. Rosaleen accepts the way Lily is and has faith in her. "'Here you go. Happy Birthday" (28). Rosaleen cares about Lily and knows when something is important to her, like her Birthday. Lily never gets anything from T-Ray on her Birthday, but Rosaleen cares so much about her that she still gets Lily something. Rosaleen can tell when Lily is in pain or is sad like most mothers can. "'Well why don't we sit down on the side of the road awhile"'" (28). Rosaleen acknowledges the fact that Lily feels upset, and is comfortable expressing the need to rest and relax. Since Lily has known Rosaleen a long time she is comfortable expressing herself around Rosaleen and knows that Rosaleen will listen to her problems and insecurities. "'I was the only one who knew that despite her sharp ways, her heart was more tender than a flower skin and she loved me beyond reason'" (11). Rosaleen and Lily have a connection that most mothers and daughters have. They care for each other and know that they are cared for. Lily and Rosaleen both see positive things in each other, which make their relationship stronger. Lily and Rosaleen do argue but like every mother and daughter, they come together and apologize. "'I know,' she said. 'Me too.' She reached over and patted the roundness of my knee like it was biscuit dough" (55). Rosaleen dedicated her full attention and support to Lily, which makes Lily feel better about herself and her life. Rosaleen gave Lily a sense of direction and security in her life.
Furthermore the Calendar Sisters show Lily acceptance and protection against the things that Lily is not ready for. August, June, and May are caring towards Lily since they let her stay with them, even though they didn't know her. Although June did not agree with August to let Lily and Rosaleen stay with them, June and Lily do get over the problems that they have with each other.
"She let go and sprawled back on the grass in convulsions of laughter. I plopped down next to her and laughed, too. We could not stop. I wasn't exactly sure of everything we were laughing about-I was just glad we were doing it together" (169).
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