Identity in Mother Night Essay

We are what we pretend to be. So we must be careful about what we pretend to be. As written by Kurt Vonnegut, this is a significant theme and is built upon throughout the story. As the story comes to an end, this theme is readdressed once more when the stories main character Howard W. Cambell Jr. commits suicide. Although other arguments could be made as to why Howard took his own life after being released from prison, Kurt Vonnegut states early on the exact reason why. Along with what Kurt Vonnegut depicts as the moral of the story, other elements can be looked at in considering why exactly Howard, after finally becoming a free man and being cleared completely of his war crimes, did exactly what he did to end the story Mother Night.

Throughout Howard W. Cambells life, the events going on, decisions that he made and the people in his life had a huge impact on the person that he was molded into. After years of Howard pretending to be a certain person, the person that he really was finally made him feel guilty. As his life dragged on, there were periods of time when Howard was actually the person described. Be it a playwright or a man stripped of his love, Howard showed flashes of his actual self instead of who he pretended to be. But then there were other times, when Howard lived a life that was not meant to be his, yet at the same time truly was his own. When Howard became an American spy, he was surrounded by evil and wicked men. With this job, it was necessary that Howard become as good of a Nazi as he could. Howard became one of the best Nazi propagandists in the business once he worked his way up to it. The person that Howard pretended to be had eventually changed his whole life and actually turned him into that imitated person. This is exactly what Kurt Vonnegut meant by, We are what we pretend to be. So we must be careful about what we pretend to be. This innocent man had never dreamt of becoming such a terrible person. The true Howard W. Cambell Jr. was so deeply hidden by the image he had tried to portray for so long, and this haunted him. Upon gaining freedom once again, he suddenly realized that he had become the person that he was portraying. Knowing this had driven him insane and he became very frail. Howard could no linger live with the thought of who he had turned into and so he took his own life. He lost sight of the person he wished and longed to be; a lover, and so he died a villain.

What would I have done if put into the place of Howard W. Cambell Jr.? After the hard and grueling life Howard had endured, I am not quite sure that I would have been able to play it off as good as he did. He had a tough life and somehow pulled through every test and trial. Howard made it through WWII, a war that not many people came out of alive. He also survived being an American spy, a tough job that nobody had thought he could pull of. Plenty of his literary works had become famous all over the world. Howards achievements and accomplishments were extremely impressive and astonishing. But beyond all of this, he still had such a guilty conscience and a horrible past that could not be wiped away and this played an important factor to whether or whether not he should commit suicide. Howard felt guilty because he played a part in the death of over six million people, he lived his life full of lies, and he had forgotten how to love. When he thought to throw away all that he had, his horrible past had to be taken into consideration. But at the same time, Howard really did not have much of anything worth living for anymore. He did not have family or friends, and he had the hate of millions of people.

Knowing all of this, I do not believe I would be able to do the same things as Howard W. Cambell Jr. No matter how hard life gets, in my opinion, its not worth taking my own life. Committing suicide to me is throwing away everything that you have accomplished, and being put in Howards place, that is accomplishing a lot, more than others can say they have accomplished. Being a war criminal and a hated person, I would have moved to another country and changed my name and started my life over with a fresh start and new beginning. This time I would have went back to my original loving self and stopped pretending, lying, and stopped participating in war. Also I would go to counseling every chance that I could get in order to obtain my new life without going crazy thinking about the past.

In conclusion, Howard was not careful in choosing who he pretended to be and so in the end it cost him his life. His life went on and changed dramatically, turning him into a monster that participated in the slaughtering of over six million people. His horrible past came back and eventually haunted him. After being released from prison, the reality of turning into the terrible person that he turned into was enough to blow his mind and turn him suicidal. His actions were sad but in some peoples eyes, quite understanding. Howards life came to a complete end with him losing the battle of who he truly was and who he became.